In honor of Mother's Day, The Complex Litigator has tracked down something special. According to a press release on PR*Urgent, a press release service, "[a] special Mother’s Day class action suit has been filed against ungrateful children everywhere. . . ." (See, Mother’s Day Class Action Suit Against Ungrateful Children (May 9, 2008) www.prurgent.com.) Although not mention in the press release, the fact that this class action has been brought against "ungrateful children everywhere" suggests that, in addition to a conventional plaintiff class of mothers, the creative counsel that devised this action must have a defendant class in mind as well. Of particular interest will be the method by which notice is provided to the defendant class if the action is certified. Perhaps via printed notice on the side of Happy Meals. That would be the functional equivalent of individual notice.
Additional facts are included in the complaint:
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh", it's already too late.
8.Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
11. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
12.Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
13.Super glue is forever.
14. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.
15. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
16.VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
17.Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
18.Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
19. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
20.Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
21. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
22. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.
23.The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy, and cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
You can view the full case against ungrateful children at RealVerdict.com.