I am very sorry, but I am constitutionally incapable of remaining serious for the life of this blog. Thus, when I read on California Punitive Damages that Keanu Reeves lost a motion to strike punitive damage claims brought by a photographer that acccused Mr. Reeves of intentionally running into him, I saw a fat one in my wheelhouse. Imagine the hearing...
NEO: Your Honor Dude, I move to strike that paparazzo's outrageous punitive damage claims.
MR. SMITH: Mr. ... Anderson. We have your file. We know how much force you applied to the accelerator. We know you backed up to look for tread marks. You struck the photograher. Your motion to strike is denied Mr. Anderson. And you know what they say; two strikes do make an intentional tort. [Laughs evilly.]
NEO: Who are you? I want my lawyer.
MR. SMITH: And how will you speak to your lawyer...when you don't have a mouth. [Laughs even more evilly as NEO claws at his now mouthless face in horror.]
If you didn't watch the Matrix films (i.e., if you are older than me or lack the nerd/geek gene) this will all be meaningless to you. It was really, really funny to me. For an ever so slightly less fanciful version of this story, head over to California Punitive Damages. If you have no idea what I am talking about, but are curious enough to do some research, take a look at Wikipedia's page on the Matrix.
[Via, oddly enough, California Punitive Damages.]